5 Signs That He's Not Serious About Wanting to Get Married

Relationships can be difficult to find, and also difficult to keep once you have them. Therefore it is nice to have advice that will help you find good relationships as you look through Personals classifieds for local long-term relationships. Locanto welcomes you to our fourth blog post about dating!

Our guest author Tina Tobin is the creator of the Advice Panel relationship video series and owner of LuvemOrLeavem.com.
"How do I know if he's just a procrastinator or if he really never plans to marry me?" This is one of the hardest distinctions for women to make, because most of us know at least one married couple that dated for so long that everyone assumed that they would never get married. It's hard not to look at those couples and hope that you too have a boyfriend that definitely plans to marry you and is just a slow mover when it comes to marriage. Of course many of us also know women that have left men who were full of promises that they wanted to get married, yet they never made it down the aisle no matter how much time he'd been given.

Based on hundreds of stories from women who are tired of this waiting game, I put together a list of the 5 most common warning signs that a man is not serious about wanting to get married.

1. You Have Been Reduced to Begging - For a woman who has been doing some serious hinting about getting married, it can be hard to realize that conversations about marriage have been replaced by begging and pleading.  Even smart, strong women who are used to demanding rather than begging for what they want in other aspects of life, somehow fall into a trap where they are begging a man to marry them.  Once you discover that you've been reduced to begging, this relationship is no longer a healthy place to be, and it is time to move on. 

2. Waiting for the Right Time - It sounds so mature and responsible for your guy to say that he will ask you to marry him as soon as "the time is right," but this is often a stalling tactic.  Over the years we've heard all of the "it isn't the right time" excuses.  They've ranged from men waiting for that big promotion at work, to one man who wanted his brother to have enough time to get over his divorce before having to go to a wedding.  People manage to tie the knot during less than perfect circumstances all the time.  Nearly every member of the clergy has a story about a bride or groom who had to hobble down the aisle after breaking a leg or having a serious injury shortly before their wedding.  Remember these couples when you're evaluating whether or not there will ever be a right time in his mind.

3. He suggests a "trial period" - Men who want to get married are men that propose.  They don't try to find a way to delay things by recommending that you have a trial period of living together "just to make sure we're compatible."  We get letters from women all the time who agreed to these trial periods and they've all either left the relationship or are now many, many years into that trial period.

4. An Engagement With No Date Set - Some men discover that presenting a woman with a diamond ring can be the king of all stalling tactics.  If a man has enough money, he can often get several years worth of stall time with a very large diamond.  If you've been engaged for more than a few months and you still don't have a date set, then the odds of you walking down the aisle are steadily decreasing the longer this engagement continues without moving forward with definite wedding plans.

5. The Rescheduled Wedding - This often starts out as a wedding date that is set for years in the future.  As the date gets closer (close enough to start making real plans) the date suddenly gets moved further into the future.  Let's face it, in all parts of life we tend to reschedule things that we're not looking forward to (like going to the dentist) and we keep or move up the dates for those things that we really want to do.  If your long engagement was rescheduled as soon as it got close enough to start putting down deposits with wedding halls, caterers, etc, then he is sending you a message that he does not intend to go through with this wedding.

So, there are the 5 most common signs that he's not serious about wanting to get married. Some of them are harder to recognize than others, but all of them are hard to admit to yourself when you have been waiting to hear those wedding bells.  Once you find yourself in any of these 5 scenarios, then your time and energy is better spent finding a new man who is ready to commit to you, rather than waiting around for your current man to walk down the aisle with you.

This topic is part of LuvemOrLeavem's Why Won't He Marry Me? Series. To learn more about this free advice series visit Will He Marry Me?

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3 Comments

Dating though good can be very difficult to fond the right person when it comes to marriage.For more information on right partners we could talk privately at my MSN clemsjohn1@yahoo.com

Many women have been dreaming about the day they will get married since they were little girls.


rhinestone iron

sometimes,when we are desperate,then we just dont really care any more.

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